Monday, May 30, 2005

http://www.raggededgepublishing.com/ToThineBeauty.html

http://www.raggededgepublishing.com/ToThineBeauty.html

Thursday, May 19, 2005

mixed blessings

I know that this is going to sound dumb to some people who read this for several reasons.

1. It isn't the end of the world and it isn't fatal.
2. I was warned. Albeit, I thought the phrase "There is a chance that in the future Katrina might develop asthma" meant like in a couple of years, not a couple of months.

As everyone knows she is just getting over pneumonia. I decided to follow up with her allergist, who is one of the best in the country, a former pediatrician, and has a specialty dealing with asthma. Basically, I didn't feel her allergy medications were working and I wanted something new.

We talked about it for a little bit and he didn't seem overly concerned.

Then he listened to her lungs.

He said, "You made a wise decision in bringing her in to me as soon as you did. It's what we feared would happen. She has asthma and we're going to have to start treating it more aggressively."

She is already on breathing treatments as needed. We generally do around 3 or 4 times a week.

Now she has a new medicine that she has to get via the nebulizer twice a day.

I guess my big problem is that this is her entire life. I try not to treat her differently or let anyone else treat her differently but it's hard when she's always sick. She has been sick since the day we brought her home from the hospital. I just can't imagine living a life that way.

On the other hand. She is still my little blessing and my little miracle child, the baby I was never supposed to be able to have. And if that means that we're going to have to struggle a little more, if that's the price I have to pay for such an incredible gift as my daughter than that isn't too high a price. I just wish I could pay that price all myself and she wouldn't have to bear any of it.

How much can a 3 year old take?

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Belief-O-Matic Results

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To get a copy of your results via email, click the back button on your browser and enter your email address at the bottom of the page. Your Results:The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards.
1.
Neo-Pagan (100%)
2.
Unitarian Universalism (91%)
3.
New Age (88%)
4.
Liberal Quakers (87%)
5.
Theravada Buddhism (87%)
6.
Mahayana Buddhism (86%)
7.
Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (83%)
8.
Jainism (75%)
9.
Bahá'í Faith (66%)
10.
Secular Humanism (64%)
11.
New Thought (61%)
12.
Reform Judaism (60%)
13.
Taoism (60%)
14.
Orthodox Quaker (56%)
15.
Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (54%)
16.
Hinduism (54%)
17.
Scientology (52%)
18.
Sikhism (51%)
19.
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (42%)
20.
Nontheist (39%)
21.
Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (37%)
22.
Orthodox Judaism (37%)
23.
Jehovah's Witness (31%)
24.
Islam (26%)
25.
Seventh Day Adventist (26%)
26.
Eastern Orthodox (20%)
27.
Roman Catholic (20%)

Friday, May 13, 2005

Poetry

I've gotten some fairly nice responces to my poetry lately, which of course makes me happy :)

On To Thing Beauty "It is incredible. It is beautiful."

On Against Poetic Nonsense "you've done it again. I love this one! Had a very good laugh."

Of course when you open an obstensibly serious piece with:

Meaningless drivel
Senseless prose
No clearer than the snot
Hanging from a child's nose


The aim is obviously at humor :) And who doesn't like a good snot joke?

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Work, Baby, Poetry

Well, I didn't go to work, for the obvoius reason. Kat was ok for most of the day though we did have a few rocky patches. She'll be ok though.

My co-worker called to say they announced that my work is going to be laying someone off on July 1. They gave us 5 days for someone to volunteer. If no one volunteers then they are just going to pick based on our personal records. We'll just have to see. Rumor has it my supervisor is volunteering. I guess I'll find out for sure next week. What an odd situation.

I've been in a poetry mood lately and written 3 new ones for http://www.raggededgepublishing.com One is a haiku. One is on aging, love, and death. And the newest one is blasting all those obscure poets out there who are proclaiming genius. I just don't get it. They sound like 2 year olds.

Dove flies
Sweet ageless sound
twittering and fluttering
My heart soars
trembling
I erupt

Come on. Let's face it. There is no meaning there. You think there is because it is obscure. It makes you either want to try and find meaning or run away in terror. I opt for the second.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Katrina

I have missed almost a month of work since January because of Katrina's illnesses (all related to her allergies).

Tonight we spent 4 hours in the ER getting chest x-rays, shots, urine samples, throat swabs etc etc. She is at the beginning stages of pnuemonia and the end stages of bronchitus.

Perhaps you're wondering how I could have missed it. I didn't. I have been giving her breathing treatments at home because I knew she was getting sick. I just thought it was her allergies.

What if I had waited a few more days?

She had a fever of104.3, was sleeping during the day, red, and having trouble breathing. And all of those things just started today. Before she was just coughing a lot. Wheezing some. She does that with her allergies.

And it was horrible having her there tonight. I actually cried. I hate this.

I hate that my baby is always suffering and always sick.

I hate dustmites.

I hate molds.

I hate missing so much work that we're always wondering how to pay all the bills. Now we have a co-pay for the ER visit too.

I am seriously considering moving to a state where there are fewer allergens. Like Arizona. It would be worth it if we didn't have to fight bronchitus and pnuemonia every 3 months. The last round was January and February. Who wants to have thier child on 5 medications a day for the rest of their lives if there is another choice, no matter how inconvenient that choice is?

I think I'll go search on Monster.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The Delete Key

I was searching via google for things my name was associated with and one of those things was my blog. I'm not even sure how or why. I thought I had used a psuedonym when I signed up but evidently I didn't. Since in the past 2 weeks I had two people I didn't know actually leave a note on the blog that means people are finding it.

I suppose that's a good thing.

Except.

Sometimes I put things in here that might be misconstrued.

Or taken critically.

Etc etc etc.

I would hate to go through the same kind fo fiasco as last time so I just saved myself the hassle and deleted the whole thing. It's a fresh start. I feel like I can rewrite my life at any moment, which is rather freeing.