So Called Life.
I'm not sure if anyone still checks this, and that's ok. Really. I just need to rant and rave a little. You are under no obligation to read this because there is very little good news in it.
Things have not exactly worked out (yet) I'm still hoping they will but I'm worried that they won't and that we're going to have serious trouble surviving the next year.
Oh geez... Where even to start. There really is just so much.
Well, I guess I'll start where we left off. We got moved ok and we finally got our house. Then the day after closing we found out that we weren't allowed to open a day care there and that they had made a mistake when they told us the home was "commecial" Now we have outrageous house payments with no way of re-couping. Les's fabulous full time job has turned out to be a part time job with no benefits. We're stuck 300 miles from home with no friends, no family, and little income. I did get a job and it's ok. It will work for now, but we should never have left home.
Katrina's asthma has gotten worst. They are sending her to a lung specialist. To make things even better she has started having seizures at school everyday. She has an appointment to see a pediatric nuerologist too. Yes. I'm freaking out. Actually I have spent the last two days crying. Asthma was hard enough to cope with, but epilepsy too? How the heck does one deal with two diseases like that?
We found out in September that we're pregnant. Which is good. If we had health insurance. And honestly, now that Katrina is just getting sicker and sicker all the time I've been thinking that an abortion might not be a bad idea. I want a baby, I do, but I don't know how I would handle two sick babies. And this one could be worse. I didn't get any medical treatment until my insurance through work kicked after 4 1/2 months along. If there are problems it's too late. It's too late for vitamins to work. It's too late for the early testing. So while I was happy for a while I'm freaking out more and more as the stress builds up.
We have a house we can't afford. No insurance for the kids (Katrina got medical because the county worker pulled strings). Jobs that offer mediocre pay and require 3 hours of travel time each day.
I know things could be worse and while it doesn't sound like it I thank God for what good things we have.
But I am so freaking depressed I can't even begin to describe it. I know that if anything were to happen to Katrina it would not be pretty. She is the only person I live for.
posted by LilithAniamos @ 10:41 AM
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