Ah, thank god for Vacation!!!
What a great weekend! It's been over a year and a half since we had a vacation, and that vacation was seeing my mom, and having a single evening out to watch the Da Vinci code (or was that two years ago??)
In any case Friday we went to a Drive in movie with the kids. It went really well. We watched Underdog, which was really cute, much better than I was expecting at any rate. Normal teenage angst, strained parental relationship, and cute cuddly puppy. What more can you ask? The children had a nice time. We just relaxed in the bed of the truck. We brought the kids a couple of chairs. I brought a couple big body pillows and 4 blankets and just settled in. Brought Talon 2 trucks, a light, a ball, and a couple of other little things. We also supplied him with a never ending bag of animal crackers. You have never seen a child eat until you've seen Talon eat. Talon out eats Katrina at every single meal. Last night he had all of his dinner and then finished Katrina's for her.
Yesterday we went to the Baltimore Zoo. People around here are pretty impressed but we've been to real zoos before. Cleveland, Pittsburgh, and even Columbus are far superior. Of course the kids don't remember (and Talon has never gone elsewhere) so the only ones dissapointed were Les and I. Katrina and I rode a camel, which was fun. There are only 2 sections in the zoo, africa, and American farm animals. Yes. Cows. Pigs. Donkeys. Chickens. Owls. There was an otter exhibit which I greatly enjoyed. That made the day for me. Katrina and I both begged for pet otters but Les was unmoved by our pleas. Of course, I'm sure our bathtub really isn't the ideal otter environment, but they were just so darn cute and cuddly, and fun! When it was almost feeding time they came to the door the zookeepers use and kept standing on their back legs to look through the window. The one seemed to actually knock on the door.
"Hey Bub, where's our food?"
Katrina really wanted to stay in a hotel so I called around but 8 of 8 hotels I called was completely full. I'm not really sure why. They just were. In Katrina's mind it isn't really a vacation if you don't stay in a hotel. For her those things are synonomous. I asked her why since we have a very nice apartment and there is a pool here. Her response?
"I like to swim at night."
Maybe next time, Sweety.
Today was Dutch Wonderland day. For those not in this area that is an amusement park geared towards those under 12. Adults pay full cost to ride the 7 rides we can comfortably fit on but because kids like it you pay. There are 30 rides in total. And also a small water park. I had 2 complimentary tickets because the last time I took the kids it rained. Today we got there at about 11:30. We rode one ride. Went to get a bite to eat inside a park restaurant. 12:30 it started raining. 1:30 we got 3 more complimentary tickets and headed home. We swung into the movie store and rented Diego, Dr. Strange, and some movie with Luke Wilson in the future being the smartest man on Earth (scary, sad thought, huh?) What freaked me out about that last movie was I could totally see all of that happening. Oddly enough I frequently think that evolution has stopped working because people who would not have previously survived, produced the number of offspring they are now etc are having more and more children, and those of us who are educated and responcible have fewer children than ever before. It seems that generally the poor and uneducated or the religiously fanatic are the only ones having more than 2.5 children.
In any case we called a couple of friends and they came over and hung out. We talked about high school and college. It kind of freaks me out to remember that once upon a time, I was actually smart, and then I think, what the hell did I do with all that potential? When we were sharing tales of high school and college I was kind of the odd person out... I got my freshman year of college finished in high school with a 4.0. What do I know about skipping classes or sleeping in them? They're talking about 20 sentance papers and I'm remembing 5 or 6 50+ page papers I turned in, or my aesthetics class with 3 papers due a week (we went from 18 students to 5 of us in a week's time).
Finally we ended the night with Katrina showing us a puppet show starring Vincent Van Goat.
"Hi, I'm Vincent Van Goat and this is my ball." She tosses down the ball from her puppet's mouth.
"Who is going to play with me?" Up comes her other hand, non puppeted.
"I'll play with you. I'm Handy."
"Hi Handy." They toss the ball back and forth.
"And they played together. The end." We all clapped voraciously and passed out hugs. Our friends went home and now I'm writing this blog entry.
Night night folks :)
A real Update
It's hard to believe it's been so long since I actually wrote a blog entry.
I'm not going to talk about work except to say that I am working. See, I can learn :)
A lot has changed. We bought a house. Sold that house. We're in an apartment. We have a house which we are renovating to "flip." This is a big hassle. Don't do it unless you have time, lots of time, and lots of money. Also, expect that your relationship will suffer while you're doing this.
I have two wonderful children. Let me tell you a bit about child 2, since no one knows about him yet.
His name is Talon. He was born April 26, 2006. I almost died giving birth to him but I didn't :) Which was a very good thing! He is a healthy, happy little 15 month old now. He says a couple of words, he likes to play fetch (yes, like a puppy), and he likes to have his biggy sister chase him around the house as he giggles. He will purposely stop so she can catch him and then he'll start running again.
Katrina is now 5. She will be going to Kindergarten in a few weeks. (I am much more anxious about this than she is.) She still has problems with allergies and Asthma, so much so that when I tried to get her life insurance, she was declined. Not to say she is dying, her allergies are very well controlled since we got rid of our pets. She is also taking a cheerleading/dance class on Mondays. Which is tonight. Right now she is having a nap because she needs one before class or she has a hard time keeping up with the other kids, all of whom are 9 or older.
Les is working also and he likes his job. He will be going onto day shift soon, which is a great thing. He's also busy trying to flip the house we bought. He spends his days working. He doesn't have free time right now and he only recently was able to spend some time with us and that's because I told him our relationship would not survive as it currently is going.
Let's see, I'm me. I've decided I'm going to start going to a Unitarian church and trying it out. What's funny is that Hunchuk and my public speaking teacher both tried to get me to go in college but I declined and now I find that is exactly the church I'm drawn to! Go figure. I've started writing poetry again. It's been awhile but I've recently been inspired. Not actually any poetry that I can share on here, but I imagine I'll get to that point again. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to try and rewrite my zombie story. It's already 175 pages long and I think I can almost double that just by doing detail work to it. when I write I tend to be very action oriented, a lot of people speaking, because that's what I like to read. However, I think for everyone else's sake I'd better throw in things about the smell of day old tobacco that lingers in the air like a light fog covereing all the furniture in the house etc etc etc.
I'm not sure how much I'll update but I think I will be doing it much more regularly than I was. I am hoping to reconnect with some old friends. Sorry I've been away so long.
Labels: FantasmaRose, Katrina, Les, Talon
Unchanging
I am unchanging, in a world full of change.
I forget that other people change.
That relationships not tended, don't remain the same, but instead can wither on the vine.
But I, strangely, don't feel that way.
If I were to get a call from someone I hadn't spoken to in 10 years we would pick right up.
I only realize that sometimes other people don't think and feel that way.
They feel that too much time has passed.
That they have changed too much.
Or perhaps they don't know how much I remember them.
Or the hours we'd spend chatting.
I am, and have considered myself to be for some years,
A collector of other people's stories.
I may not recognize someone's face, but if they begin to tell me there story I will remember them.
And so I'm easily transported back in time, with a simple IM, a phone call, a letter.
And the years fade away.
And memories return.
And I'm happy because I've found a lost friend, and I dive right back in!
And I don't always realize that maybe we aren't really friends anymore.
Like I can talk
About people who don't update. Not having computer access at home really isn't condusive to blogging and having a job where I work 9 out of 8 hours a day doesn't make it much easier. I'm working a midnight tonight so I figured I'd update.
Before I list all the reasons life sucks let me list the reasons it doesn't. These are the things that make each day worth while:
1. I love my family. My husband is fantastic and I can't believe how lucky I am to have him. Les and I just looked through our wedding album and agreed that it was the best week of our lives. We had real fun getting married. How many people can say that and smile and laugh about it 2 years later?
My daughter is smart, and beautiful, and sweet, and good, and funny. She is the light of my life. Everyday and every moment I get to spend with her I remember how truly blessed I am and have been. Katrina is also stable. She is on a new astma medication which is working pretty well. She also is no longer using a nebulizer but a spacer now. The big difference is instead of spending an hour each day to do her breathing treatments it takes about 5 minutes total! How cool is that?
What I believe is that as long as my family is around life is still worth while. It's also great to know that they love me too.
2. Les and I are both working. The job we moved out here for (Les's) ended up being a dud (nice after we spent $30000 to move here and make a down payment on a home huh?) But he has found a job that pays half as much but gives him insurance and that he actually likes. It has been YEARS since he actually liked a job so this has been wonderful for both of us. I also am working and have health insurance, which is a great thing. I also enjoy my job. I enjoy the kids I work with. I like the work I'm doing. And I'm good at it. I don't have to worry that I can't pull it off because I've seen the hardest things and overcome them already. Now it's just setting cruise control and doing what I have to do.
3. We have good friends we love. Granted none of them are here. But they still call us, and some have driven the 300 miles to come and visit us. There is something wonderful and special about having people who understand when things aren't going quite right and you don't feel bad for not pretending that everything is fine when it really isn't. It's also wonderful that when things are going right you can share that with them and they are genuinely happy for you. What more do people need than that?
Now the flip side:
1. Moving here was probably the biggest mistake of our lives. We miss our friends and family. Our house is a disaster (no working toilets, water leaks, missing windows) which would have been ok had it turned out to be a commercial property like we were told and we could have opened a business. Now it is just a black pit that eats our income (1,800 a month for mortgage payments and gas).
2. This pregnancy. Luckily I no longer wish I'd gotten rid of the kid. I've grown rather attached to him. He's a happy little sucker and just huge! BIG. I can tell. We saw his ultrasound in December and he is healthy. Nice spine, good heart, and everything where it is supposed to be. The problem has been that pregancy is not sitting so well with me.
I had an EKG done in January and they confirmed my suspicion that my heart is screwy. Basically my pulse is running between 140-160 while resting. I walk up my stairs and I'm out of breath and have to sit for 5 minutes to get my pulse to slow down. But no major problem. The next thing that happened was my blood pressure. It runs about 118/100. It's not a good number. It's not absolutely horrible yet either.
In the last month I managed to put on 10 more pounds. This is the biggest I have ever been and with Kat I put on 13 pounds. This one has me up by 40 so far. The 10 pound gain raised my alarm bells a bit and evidently the doctor's too. So they sent me for glucose testing. Gestational Diabetes. Generally this isn't much of a problem unless you add on high blood pressure and rapid heart rate. So now I'm on a no sugar diet and will probably have this child early since he is soooooo freaking big! Oh well I'm sure it will all work out. I may just have to be prepared for the possibility of an early birth and maybe a C-section.
Huh, the little bugger is kicking me right now. He's a happy child.
I'm gonna leave it at that. We still have hopes that things might end out working out but we're truly not sure that it will. Our best hope right now is that we will be able to sell our house and move back home. We really don't like it here.
So Called Life.
I'm not sure if anyone still checks this, and that's ok. Really. I just need to rant and rave a little. You are under no obligation to read this because there is very little good news in it.
Things have not exactly worked out (yet) I'm still hoping they will but I'm worried that they won't and that we're going to have serious trouble surviving the next year.
Oh geez... Where even to start. There really is just so much.
Well, I guess I'll start where we left off. We got moved ok and we finally got our house. Then the day after closing we found out that we weren't allowed to open a day care there and that they had made a mistake when they told us the home was "commecial" Now we have outrageous house payments with no way of re-couping. Les's fabulous full time job has turned out to be a part time job with no benefits. We're stuck 300 miles from home with no friends, no family, and little income. I did get a job and it's ok. It will work for now, but we should never have left home.
Katrina's asthma has gotten worst. They are sending her to a lung specialist. To make things even better she has started having seizures at school everyday. She has an appointment to see a pediatric nuerologist too. Yes. I'm freaking out. Actually I have spent the last two days crying. Asthma was hard enough to cope with, but epilepsy too? How the heck does one deal with two diseases like that?
We found out in September that we're pregnant. Which is good. If we had health insurance. And honestly, now that Katrina is just getting sicker and sicker all the time I've been thinking that an abortion might not be a bad idea. I want a baby, I do, but I don't know how I would handle two sick babies. And this one could be worse. I didn't get any medical treatment until my insurance through work kicked after 4 1/2 months along. If there are problems it's too late. It's too late for vitamins to work. It's too late for the early testing. So while I was happy for a while I'm freaking out more and more as the stress builds up.
We have a house we can't afford. No insurance for the kids (Katrina got medical because the county worker pulled strings). Jobs that offer mediocre pay and require 3 hours of travel time each day.
I know things could be worse and while it doesn't sound like it I thank God for what good things we have.
But I am so freaking depressed I can't even begin to describe it. I know that if anything were to happen to Katrina it would not be pretty. She is the only person I live for.
Tooo Soon!!!!
Hello. I'm not going to panic.
Nope. Not A Bit.
I'm going to hyperventilate a little, but that isn't really panicing.
I'm not even sure if I spelled panicking right. That can't be a good sign.
Here's what happened. Had found someone to move us 3 weeks ago. Now they can't.
Last minute hustle. Didn't think we'd find anyone.
Reserved a motel room for a week. A cheap yucky motel.
Haven't packed much. Just a dozen boxes thus far.
Found a mover. Available for Thursday. Needs everything ready to go by then.
Tonight is Tuesday. We were away all day visiting yet more family.
We need to be completely packed by tomorrow night!
I'm not even done with the company website yet so I'm working on that tonight!
My house is a wreck!!!!
It's way way too soon!!!!!!!!
ACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!
OK, thanks for letting me vent.
I needed that little outlet for a second.
On the brighter side of things I think things are going relatively well given the last minuteness of it all
:)
There is still hope that we may get our house. We are now on our 6th bid. Turns out our real estate agent was asking for a point more than is usual and it was throwing things off by a couple thousand. We're hoping that we find out tomorrow our bid has been accepted. That would be a very good thing.
Anyway, I'm gonna miss you all. I already do. It's hectic and crazy and I'm sorry I've been such a bad friend.
On the bonus side hopefully when things get a little more settled down I will have a little more time since I won't actually have found a job yet.
Love all 3 of you that read this *hugs*
Life
Test Results Are In!!! No Cancer! They still aren't sure what's actually wrong, nor are they looking into it, but at least it's not cancer!!!
Life has been pretty busy. We're packing to move. Trying to buy a house. I'm writing a business plan. Finishing my current employer's website. Visiting all our family and most of our friends before we move.
Shane, Could you send me the number for the Guard Tower? I can't get ahold of Omen at his house. Thanks
*LOL*
I'm trying to open a daycare in the new home so that Katrina doesn't have to go back to a pre-school and I can make sure that she's doing ok. Also what employer in their rightmond would hire someone who has missed two months of work in the last 7? I feel lucky not to have been fired by now.
Work is hectic, I got really behind and on top of that we forgot to set some goals for some of our kids so they are going to miss out on their incentives.
I'm lucky to get out of the program now because I don't think there is going to be one next year.
Well, I have to go wake Katrina up for school. :) TTYL.
YEAH!!!
1% scored higher!!! I'm number 11 for the moment on this board!
We put our bid on the house tonight with the help of my Aunt Nancy. Everyone cross their fingers.
No test results yet. Trust me, I'm as anxious as you are, though at this point I'm wondering if they're just blowing things out of proportion. There certianly doesn't seem to be any rush.
I almost have my company's website done. I'm taking a short break from that right now. It's actually the best work I've done yet so I'm pretty excited about it. I hope the agency likes it. It's hard when you've had NO contact since December and that was one initial consultation. Oh well. I have it almost done and I have a contract and documentation of all my attempts to get more information for the site. Still, it must look ok because Les walked up to see what I was looking at and he thought it was an example rather than my own design. :) That made me feel pretty awesome! He wants me to add flash but I don't have a program for it, and I really don't know how to use it even if I did.
